I don't give a damn about my bad reputation.

Ami is a funny person.

I'm trying to do everything all at once, but I can't.
I'm talented, I truly am, but I'm not super human.
I can't keep going like this.
I feel dead, inside and out.

Work's pushing too hard and not paying enough.
School's finally gotten challenging and time consuming and, unfortunately, work soaks up all my time now that I'm so committed to it and I can't get my schoolwork done.

I'm fucked.
Two midterms were due today.
Two.
Guess how many are completed?
Zero.

I've got a major project due for work today, but guess how far that is?
Not fucking far enough.

I'm so fucked.

Work was unfair and gave me since Friday to do this.

I knew about the school projects since the beginning of the term and still didn't get them done.
I let one teacher know I fucked up, because it was a group project and I didn't want my group getting penalized for me.

FUCK!

Why can't I do this?

I'm trying goddamnit.
I'm trying with everything I have.
I work so hard at it all and it just fucking falls apart.
Everything just falls apart.

Sometimes, I really, truly hate myself for being so weak and lazy.
During those times, times like these, I feel like I will never amount to anything and that the rest of my life will be like this:  Work too long and too hard for something that's never enough.

All I've ever wanted for myself was to be somebody.
This is the only shit I'm good at so I might as well be fucking fantastic at it.
I want to be important and respected in the field and loaded because of it.
I'm killing myself by working too hard and too long in order to make that happen.

Fuck.